Healing

I've had a lot of thoughts going through my mind since the last time I wrote. Life was very scary there for awhile and every moment seems to be filled with random thoughts about it. It's odd, my life will never be the same. I will never think of things in the same way and I think my appreciation for the little things has been magnified significantly.

So once again, this will be a post of random thoughts. It's how my mind is working these days.

1. Blood donation has become a very important thing to me. I learned that after I posted about it on Emmy's Caring Bridge page that people who have never donated before were going to. The biggest thing I have heard is the result of my Grandpa sharing Emmy's story at work. Thanks to those planning to donate in Emmy's honor!

2. Peder and I had a slumber party last night. It was SO much fun. We watched Kung Fu Panda and Horton Hears a Who. I woke up several times throughout the night with either him sleeping with his head on my belly or his arm thrown over me. I love having such a snuggly little boy.

3. All three of my kiddos at home, sitting in their chairs and snuggling a stuffed animal. Emmy still looks very sickly, but boy is she happy to be home! The dog that Peder is snuggling was my Grandpa Pederson's when he was younger. It comes down off the bookshelf on special occasions.

4. Hilarity ensues at the Early household. When the kids are all crabby I have a habit of putting crazy things on my head. Twice in my life I have pulled out the big guns and put a diaper on my head (clean, of course!). Both times a child has ended up with said diaper on their head. This time it was Mari's turn. Notice that she's not crabby? Mission Accomplished.

5. This afternoon I made 6 birthday cards and 12 thank you cards. It was nice to be back in my scrap area, but what I really wanted to be doing was working on was some scrapbook pages of the kiddos.

6. I am horribly behind on responding to notes and e-mails. HORRIBLY BEHIND! If you have sent me one in the last 3 weeks, I'm hoping to get to responding in the next day or two, hopefully once my exhaustion has been conquered.

7. I'm having trouble falling asleep. My mind won't stop reliving the last couple of weeks. To think a week ago Emmy was intubated and we were praying that there were no more bleeds. I can't stop thinking about how close we came to losing her and I'm terrified of it happening again.

8. Emmy is dealing with severe anxiety. She has a hard time falling asleep and will cry for long periods before dropping off. We're quite certain this is because of the latest hospitalization and are hoping that we can ease her fears the longer we're at home.

9. I really miss my book group. Those ladies are so great and it's been awhile since I've been with them for more then one week in a row. I'm hoping that starting next week I can be there more regularly.

10. I miss my Special Kids Special Needs moms from my Mothers of Multiples group. I haven't seen them since October. TOO LONG! I get to see them on Thursday at the large group meeting. WA-HOO!

11. I will be attending my first meeting of the Parent Advisory Board on Wednesday to see if it is a good fit for me. I'm pretty excited. We'll be looking at furniture options for the new Children's hospital they are building.

12. I'm searching for peace in our life again. Getting back into our routine. I've been craving this for almost 2 months now. I'm hoping now is the time for that to happen.

Off to relax in front of the TV while Jake is at poker. A nice quiet night at home, wishing I was snuggling with my hubby. :)

Random Thoughts

I have a bunch of random thoughts for today. My mind is streaming random, unconnected thoughts, so that's what you're getting.

- I'm SO happy to be home and have all three kids within arms reach.

- I've never been so angry on behalf of someone else as I was Saturday night/Sunday morning on behalf of Emmy. I was finally calmed down enough today to tell our doctor about how angry I was at the on-call resident and how his actions made me feel. He told me that he will talk to him and it won't happen again.

- Be nice to your nurses, it results in FABULOUS care on behalf of your child or yourself.

- I was asked to be on the Parent Advisory Board at the University of Minnesota's Children's Hospital. There are 16 parents and 8 hospital faculty, doctors, etc. I'm thinking of joining.

- I'm exhausted. I really want to get back into a regular schedule here, but every time I try something big comes up that prevents it.

- I'm very thankful for the care our children receive from their medical providers.

- My parents are WONDERFUL! They met us at the ER at midnight on Saturday to bring Peder and Mari back to our house and have taken care of them during every one of Emmy's hospitalizations. They've been helpful both emotionally and by taking care of our kiddos.

- We got home today and someone from church had brought over food. She was hoping to get it to us before we got home. There were at least 3 meals of food in the bags she brought. Another example of the generosity of our friends and family.

- A friend just asked me about information on a medical condition that is similar to Emmy's. Her friend's son was born with it. I offered to talk to her if she wanted to talk to another parent...I would have liked that after Emmy was born.

- When I get down in the dumps I want to spend money. I've been showing great self-restraint.

- I'm SO thankful for my friends and family. These times would be even more difficult without their love and support.

That's all for now....Mari needs some cuddling.