I've been really trying to stay positive. I've been battling a defeatist attitude for about a week now and have to really tell myself that things WILL get better. Today was another day that felt like it was filled with struggle. This morning my mom called me to tell me that a family friend had died after a very short battle with ALS. It was a difficult journey for his family and just sad news to get this morning.
Then Mari has been sick. She has had diarrhea and actually vomited this evening. We ended up taking her in to the doctor to get checked because she was dealing with such horrible chills and her hands and lips were purple.
Jake is still battling his illness, whatever it is.
I had my first physical therapy appointment this afternoon. It was painful and I learned that because I've been compensating for the pain in my left hip so much that I created issues for my right hip. The exercises she gave me are barely anything, but they send me into a great deal of pain. She also gave me new ways to sit, stand and get up from sitting to help retrain my muscles and get my pelvis more stable. She said it's going to be painful, but hopefully we can get it stable and strong. Then she said if I get back into working out that will help stabilize it tremendously. So back to the lifestyle change I made before Emmy got sick over the summer, and I will need to exercise consistently for the rest of my life.
But I'm trying to stay positive. I'm trying to look at the positive in my life and look forward to the good things. I don't want to be whiny. So here are some things that are good in our life and things we have to look forward to.
1. We have a wonderful support system. Our friends and family are SO great to us.
2. Saturday we get to go out to a really nice restaurant with my aunt and uncle. We always laugh with them and it will most definitely be a good time.
3. Emmy is having surgery next week and will no longer have a colostomy bag. What a POSITIVE step.
4. In February, Jake and I are taking a long weekend and heading to Stillwater for 3 nights. We are VERY excited for the opportunity to reconnect, do some fun things together and just hang out together. We've had 2 opportunities for "dates" since Emmy got sick in July. We need this!
5. In February I am taking a long weekend and going to a scrapbooking retreat with my sister-in-law. I am really looking forward to a weekend with a group of ladies who share the same passion as I do. SO FUN!
6. Our children are beautiful, wonderful and sweet. The cute incident of the day: Jake gave each of the kids a milkbone to give to Jesse. Emmy could care less about doing it, but Peder loves it and Mari was interested. Mari gave Jesse the milkbone and Peder gave her a hug and kiss and said, "Good job Mari! I'm SO proud of you!" How cute is that?
So that's a start of what I can remind myself of when I'm starting to feel bummed or just overwhelmed. I KNOW this illness will end, even if there doesn't seem to be an end in sight.
12 hours ago